Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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