I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
My life is pants optional.
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