You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
There's always time for handjobs
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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