I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize