think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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