thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize