you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
