I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize