well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
