Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
COCAINE IS GR8
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
