My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Sorry my hands just texted you
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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