It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
