fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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