so that wasnt chicken after all
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
