I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize