yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
last night I used snow as a chaser
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
