i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
