I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
