Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
