What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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