Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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