im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
he fucked my hip out of place.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
