I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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