No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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