I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
