Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My pussy is not your playground.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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