They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize