Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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