I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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