Nicole vs. Life
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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