I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
