Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
