girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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