I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
