he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
