I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
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