That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
