yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
