He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
