When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
