Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He called his prostate his "boner button".
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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