2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
