Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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