I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
so much tequila, so little girl.
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