Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
