my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
