Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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