She said her name was "party"
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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