I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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