Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
they need to just BURY HIM!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
