No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
