Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
