i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
