just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Someone shit on the floor
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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