Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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