I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
