there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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