U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
