id be glad to
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
