How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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