Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
