I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
This house was built for laser tag.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
