I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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