the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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