Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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